'You mean to tell me Scars wasn't born wearing armor?’ James asks.
'Maybe not, but I do plan on dying in it,’ Garrus replies. ‘Heightened turian sense of hearing, lieutenant: more than half the time, it’s a real killer.’
'My favorite part has to be the arrows,' Garrus says. 'They point to the hips and the waist—two of my finest attributes, wouldn't you agree, Shepard?'
'Ground control to Commander Shepard,' Garrus says.
More silence. Glazed eyes. Labored breathing. All signs of a concussion.
'Let's get you to the med bay, Shepard,' Garrus says.
'Official diagnosis?' Chakwas asks. 'Do I really have to say it?'
'I suffered from Turian Casuals,' Shepard replies. 'I know, I know. You ever see Garrus out of his armor?'
'No,' Chakwas admits, 'but I have thought about it. If we’re being honest… Who hasn’t?’
'Let me guess: our fashions are primitive and, in your cycle, there was a Prothean squadron dedicated to preventing crimes against style,' Garrus says.
'I had believed—perhaps foolishly so—that the future would hold advancements in design,' Javik agrees.
'Oh, stop flattering me,' Garrus says. 'You keep that up, I'm going to assume what you really want is to see me naked.’
'Hey, Garrus,' Joker asks, 'why is it that turians have just about the weirdest casual clothes of all the races?’
'Because they're so handsome they can pull anything off?' Garrus replies.
'I am sorry, Jeff,' EDI says, 'but I believe even you must admit: you have been served.'
'Next time,' Garrus says, 'I think I'll go for a simple hoodie.'
'Then you and Shepard can match,' Liara replies.
They both pretend Garrus’s eyes don’t light up just a little at the thought.
'Man, Esteban—you're the only person on this whole damn ship who doesn't think Scars over there is his type,' James says. He flexes to punctuate, 'cause at least somebody still appreciates his show.
'Who said he's not my type?' Steve asks.
'Heard Sparks got all tongue-tied and her mask fogged up when she saw him,' James says.
'Shepard's head exploded, so, I mean, yeah—you know,' Kaidan replies.
'More huevos?' James asks.
'Bring 'em on,' Kaidan says. 'Say, you got any more cerveza?'